I promised myself that I would rarely revisit this moment in our lives. That I would place the pain, carefully, unto a far unreachable shelf. However, my caring and lovable sister called me after the morning news and then sister-in-law, who sent me the link below, brought me back...back to where I am reminded that we brushed death with our oldest, Colin. I am grateful for our son, and I may not tell him this everyday, but I am sure glad to have been able to "keep" him, at least for a little longer.
I am reminded, most especially today, to enjoy him. We are hard on Colin, being the eldest, where I forget that we could have lost him to this rare, terrible, ugly thing called retinoblastoma. We realized, then, that God is in EVERYTHING and felt much like Abraham to Isaak (this is Colin's middle name) knowing that this precious child is not ours to begin with and that he truly belongs, while given to us as a gift, to our Heavenly Father.
One of the nuns at a monastery we love to visit in Ellwood City, PA. once told us "Never feel sorry for your children, love them, correct them in this love. Do not pity or make an easy way out for them. Let God take care of this in their lives."
I have continually reminded myself of this very thing whenever I want to explain my children's short-comings, their in-appropriate behaviors, and whenever I look at Colin and remember the most beautiful feature upon birth: his big blue eyes.
Colin now wears a prosthetic eye, since we had no choice 9 years ago but remove what was all ready lost. The cancer was too large and needed immediate removal. He did not need chemotherapy since the removal was the cure. However, he did need to undergo EUA's (Exams Under Anesthesia) for several years after. The rest of the children needed office exams twice a year till 4 years old. We are past all this protocol and relieved.
Colin Isaak, in spite of monocular vision, hits a ball like no other and nothing stops him from being the typical 11 year old boy...
We love you so much...beautiful boy, Darling Colin!
link to a.m. news story
9 comments:
Aw, man! I just put my make-up on and it's getting all over my face! Mascara everywhere. Oh well. I looked good for 10 minutes but no one was up yet to witness it. The pic with Colin...VERY powerful. Miss you.
Oh my goodness. What a beautiful, beautiful post. I had no idea you had endured so much trauma as a young mother. Even before I read your words, the photo brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing what I am sure is an extremely difficult memory to look back on. You have my deepest respect and admiration.
Love,
Molly
My dear Shamassey...for your readers who want to read more about our story w/ Retinoblastoma, here is part 1 of my 3 part on our adventure..
http://bonovox.squarespace.com/journal/2005/3/25/retinoblastoma-a-family-crisis.html
I'm an online friend of FDR from back when I used to visit The Ooze...I saw this post on Facebook and was compelled to read your story. I'm a Mama, too, and my heart just breaks to think of what your experience must have been like. Praising Him with you for quick diagnosis, good medical care and above all a son to cherish for awhile longer. God is good.
Much love,
Judy
thank you Molly for the computer lesson!
Thank you dear readers. Your kind and loving words carry us more than you know...
Wow! I've never heard of that problem. Glad is was something with a clear fix. Our son is 11 too! And plays baseball. . .
I had no idea! Thank God for his loving care and providence!
Praised be Jesus Christ!
Now and forever!
Dear Kelly, and all,
Thanks be to God ..
In all things..
and in all circumstances!
I love you guys,
We keep you in prayer..
Love,
Ellen
Your favorite Maronite!
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