Be ye Perfect...

I'm beginning to sense mood swings. Not only in myself but with the entire family. On most occasions we fair very well in getting along. But, as of lately, we all seem to dislike each other very much.

I am annoyed at all sounds coming from the children. It could be laughter which undoubtedly will turn into obnoxious behavior, where someone gets hurt, whether it is their feelings or a physical torment.

In packing & hearing such noise - noise -noise, I cannot hone in on normal functional thinking in that my feeble brain can't clear a thought as to how I am suppose to place the item I am wrapping neatly away into the box! "Now what did I just pack?" "Where is that packing tape, again?" "Luke, gimme that (permanent black) marker!" "Aw, come on guys, you'll get everything back in a few weeks"

As for FDR, well...we have fewer moments of meaningful conversation and more unreasonable conversations. That and the fact that his packing skills are left to be desired next to my perfect orderly system. "No, honey! your baseball cards shouldn't go in the box with your National Geographics - they belong, clearly, in the box labeled, no brainer here: BASEBALL CARDS (Store). I tend to point that out and well, we get along, perfectly! I miss my (im)perfect husband's conversations - other than the move.

Preoccupied, with my packing perfectionism, I'm stuck in a muddled state when it comes to getting dressed, doing laundry, cooking & also in remembering to eat, exercise - at least a short walk, allotting down-time with the children, or start the kids 4th quarterly report (due last month!), submit my letter of intent to home school, order more books for schooling, pack Colin and Hannah for 2 weeks of camp to the Antiochian Village -- at least they get a break out of this ginormous move.

"Not fair!" I want to shout or am I the one not being fair? No, I think I'm feeling sorry for myself. Now, that's not being perfect, is it?

I'm failing to mention, too ashamed to mention is that I'm not praying either. To remain grateful in all things, even during the obnoxious noise and in my dear husband's packing style. I cease to give God a mere thought because, after all, I have too much to do and my way of getting it done. I am miserable and miserable to those I love the most.

Believe me "if you could be a fly on the wall" just ask the children, for I quote the 11 year old, "Mommy, you're super mean and you don't have to be". Okay, that was perfectly painful, it may even leave a mark! Nevertheless, Colin is right, out of line, yes, but correct in the judgement of my appalling behavior.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner"

Crying for mercy, I realize that mercy is before me all the time in the form of wonderful friends, a terrific husband, and my mother; who are there for me even when I have not asked.

"Uncle Todd" drops by and takes my older two out to lunch. The next day, he courageously takes all 4 to the local pool. Needless to say, he was exhausted and I thank him for stepping out of his comfort zone.

My treasured friend, L, during our many "mommy-only" dinners and wine sipping, helps me wrap my finite mind around this HUGE change. Our conversations are endless and I love her, her beautiful family (that includes C too), for her straight-forwardness, her empathy in all aspects of my life perfectly blended with tearful laughter.

My husband's ideal timing in his humor and patience when I need to seriously lighten up!

My mom, even though we tend to have many differences for we are both extremely strong-willed; she is always available to watch the children for the countless errands, weddings, dinners but most importantly, when I need to sleep-in.

Let me not forget the children: They continue to impress me with their resignation and adaption to a change they themselves cannot fathom. With bitter-sweet anticipation they oblige in obeying us. Actually, they have larger issues when it comes to who has the bigger piece of cake than packing up all their belongings...I am grateful with their perseverance.

Thank you Lord for your Divine mercies, in-spite of my numberless transgressions, may I abide in your Perfect Love.